C-o-f-f-e-e. Don´t drink so much coffee[i]
A dialogue between my ascetic and my epicurean selves
Until a few months ago I drank up to four mugs of coffee a day, the first one after my morning routine, another one after breakfast, the third after lunch and the last one in the middle of the afternoon. I was aware, however, that for health reasons, as part of a diet supposed to bring about a remission of an autoimmune condition, it is requisite to reduce or even to stop the consumption of coffee, at least for a few months. As I couldn´t imagine doing this at first, I started to have a conversation with myself, which more or less went like this:
The Ascetic (cheerfully): Hurrah, it´s your sabbatical, now. This is your opportunity to lay off bad habits. So what about doing without coffee?
The Epicurean (in dismay): Right now? I can´t do this. I already abstain from sugar, at least by and large, and I haven´t had any alcoholic drink for ages. Let´s wait and see. Perhaps it is enough to keep to all the other rules of the diet.
The Ascetic (in a lecturing tone): Wait and see? This is just a procrastination strategy. When you have got over the first few days, you won´t mind any more.
The Epicurean (audibly panicking): But this will be torture. Do I really have to go through it? After all, coffee lifts my spirits. Looking forward to my first cup it´s much easier to get out of bed in the morning. After that I am ready to tackle my work. If I drink coffee after lunch, I don´t feel low, and in my free lessons a cup of coffee refills my batteries.
The Ascetic (laughing): But haven´t you said yourself, that you hardly notice any stimulating effect anymore? That it is more effective, if you drink no more than two cups a day?
The Epicurean (sulking): You are a spoilsport. It is not just because of the stimulating effect. (and now getting enthusiastic) It is its taste, aromatic, bitter, faintly reminiscent of chocolate and slightly softened with a good Crema, which makes coffee unique.
The Ascetic (reassuring): I can´t object against this. (and now archly) But didn´t you say that sometimes it is not as delicious as you expected?
The Epicurean (more soberly): … Yes, this has happened from time to time. On holiday, for example, when I tried out a new café. And I don´t drink filter coffee any more. But I can´t resist a good Café Crème. (now doubtfully) Are you so sure that coffee isn´t good for me? According to a health expert I listened to recently there is agreement that you can drink up to four cups a day without damaging your health. Coffee is even supposed to be good for your liver.
The Ascetic (smiling): Since when do you have problems with your liver? These evasive tactics won´t get you far. It is also agreed that coffee is diuretic and that the body is dehydrated and loses minerals this way.
The Epicurean (dreamily): Yes. That´s why you get a glass of water with your coffee in Austria, to restore your fluid balance.
The Ascetic (looking severe): Then there is still the drain of minerals, which makes you feel tired. Remember your tendency to have low levels of iron in your blood.
So when are you going to knuckle down to it, if not now?
You could drink tea in your breaks instead. Not black or green tea, of course, because they contain thein, which is as stimulating as caffeine. But herbal teas don´t do any harm at all. On the contrary, they are even beneficial. They provide fluid and warm you up from inside at the same time. Thus, they are a more sustainable means to get through a low point.
The Epicurean (stubbornly): But why not believe the health experts if they agree that coffee is harmless?
The Ascetic (seriously): I just doubt that such statements really apply to everybody. To me, it makes more sense to focus on one´s own physical condition and disposition.
The Epicurean (nostalgically): Health is not the only thing which counts. Joy of life is as important. Even the smell of coffee makes me feel good. I have always enjoyed it since as far back as my childhood. Moreover, drinking coffee is a social activity. You have a cup of coffee with your colleagues, invite friends for coffee, go out together for a cup of coffee. And it is an important aspect of my holiday experience, it helps you unwind. In France, in Italy and in Greece people sit in the cafés all day sipping coffee. Not being able to join in is really and truly hard. Besides, you don´t get herbal tea everywhere.
The Ascetic (soothingly): I truly sympathise with you seeing as to the sacrifices you have to make. Perhaps it is easier to ask yourself how you could benefit from it and if it might be worth dealing with the cold turkey for a while.
The Epicurean (with a deep sigh): I wake up at night, often around half past one or two o´clock unable to fall asleep again for a long time. In the mornings I am tired for lack of sleep. My ability to concentrate has declined, too. I hope to sleep better, to be in better shape during the day and to really be able to concentrate.
And there is another point.
The Ascetic (smiling): Yes?
The Epicurean: If I follow through with my diet, there is the hope that in the longer term I might get on without medication and without a radioiodine therapy like one of my colleagues.
The Ascetic: If these goals are so important to you, you might like to write them down and stick them to the kitchen cupboard.
The Epicurean (agonized): Do you believe that this will really help? Perhaps on the first day, but on the second one, when I miss my cup of coffee so much ….
The Ascetic (laughing amusedly): Ha, ha. You are scared of going cold turkey, aren´t you? Why not take small steps at first. You needn´t stop from one day to the next. Start with two cups a day. And if you have managed to stay within this limit for three days, you can make a new resolution for the next three days. After that you have almost survived for one week.
The Epicurean (plaintively/feeling sorry for herself): I am suffering and you are laughing at me. You really are a sadist.
The Ascetic (kindly but firmly): And you are full of self-pity. Remember that it´s your sabbatical. So when is the right time, if not now?
And what about my exit from coffee consumption, now?
I am aware that a reduction from four cups to no more than one or even to zero would be impossible during my everyday life at home and with the coffee machine in my kitchen. So I take advantage of my summer holidays to begin. On my cycle tour there are fewer opportunities to drink coffee, only when I have breakfast in a hotel or when I arrive at my destination in the early afternoon. Sometimes I have one cup, sometimes two. After my return and later during my journey across Spain I manage to stick to this regime. The effect is limited, though. Despite the cutback I have wakeful or even sleepless nights once in a while during my journey.
Over Christmas I switch to decaffeinated coffee and limit my consumption to one cup a day after lunch. The label on the package, however, with two out of five possible coffee beans, tells me that it is not free of caffeine. This ties in with my own observations of a surprisingly strong stimulating effect.
It is not until January that I face the beginning of an entirely coffeeless period and this only because having neglected to descale it the espresso machine I bought after a holiday in France has broken down. And indeed, after a time of complete withdrawal I start to observe a perceptible improvement. Sometimes I do not even wake up during the night anymore and if so, it is only for a short time. In the morning it is not hard to get up before seven o´clock. When I see people sitting in the cafés in front of their cups, I still have an almost irresistible urge to order a cup of coffee, too. But what about tonight? I ask myself afraid to lie awake as a consequence, which effectively keeps me from reneging on my resolution.
And what about my ability to concentrate? There has been no definite improvement, yet, but there is no deterioration, either. I rarely experience a high nor do I feel in really bad shape. There are ups and downs with or without coffee. A good remedy for the latter is chewing a small piece of ginger. A brew of ginger or ginger tea has a similar effect as a caffeine and sugar free stimulant.
Now, I feel strong enough to continue the experiment for some time, as yet indefinitely, but not necessarily forever. It helps to remember that I wasn´t really satisfied with the quality of the taste, whenever I opted out. I bought a cup of coffee together with a piece of apple pie in Greece one day, because the cake asked for it, but the coffee wasn´t as good as I had imagined. Similarly, the cup of decaffeinated coffee I made on the Sunday after my return from Greece did not conform to my ideal.
[i] This is an allusion to the 18th century canon C-a-f-f-e-e. Trink nicht so viel Caffee composed by Carl Gottlieb Hering (1766–1853). Of course, I do not support the discriminatory subtext which can be attributed due to the choice of expression.
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